The weirdest thing happened today.

I went to the bank to open a new account so I can start saving up like ppl usually do -I know I shoulda started earlier, it's very embarrassing- and then this women came in, sat right opposite me and then I remembered that she was my high school teacher once and I had to say hello ... and I fucking hate when this happens!!

And I know she kept staring because I felt her gaze fixed completely on my side, so I decided to say hello. After I did, the bank employee who was supposed to work my papers out said "yeah.. btw I was one of your students too"

so now you see why I don't go out much.

So I've had a haircut.

And I totally messed up my hair you know that? I watched the whole thing come off. It doesn't feel that good lemme tell ya
I know I wanted strange looking haircut  two years ago but that hardly is the case in my new 80's mullet right now

school just started officially today , go figure.

As strange as this may seem but I actually can relate to Kristen at some point in that article
(People expect so much it sickens me.)

"Insomnia is a kind of torture. because while the world is fast asleep, you're up all alone, your mind buzzing with every random thought in the universe. and sometimes the thoughts will reach a standstill, and your mind goes blank. you become more aware of the silence. and it is during this moment that you realize how alone you are."

Amen.

did I mention that I'm going to Kuwait tomorrow?

my life's horrible.

I  lead two different lives, an everyday ordinary life and a practical one. I detest my everyday ordinary life and I hate the people involved in it, perhaps it explains why I love my practical one.

My practical life is where I spend most of my days and times. I almost never miss an opportunity where I can get myself busy doing what I love. I'd rather do that ten time than go through one dinner with my dad's family.

I'm fine with this as long as both lives aren't connected together, but when someone from my everyday ordinary fucking life shows up in my practical one that's where I can't hide my feelings anymore and want to tell that person so badly to fuck off and pretend like they have never seen me before cuz this is really where I wanna be.

Been a while since last time I wrote in here. Been a while since I wrote in anywhere, including my red journal.

I dunno what is it but every time I start to think of writing something down I shake the thought of documenting my rants immediately. However, I think I'm into few stuff at the moment I'll prolly get to them these couple of days. after all I still enjoy reading my rants.

It has to be Billie Jean and Little Susie, specifically that part of it "Neglection can kill like a knife in your soul, oh it will" (ILoveItSoMuch).

I'm a very picky person when it comes to the people I surround myself with.
For example if you're my friend I expect you to be there for me in every possible way. What I hate the most about the few new friends I maintained is that once I turn my back they would easily run into someone I introduced them to

I'm confused whether I should be mad at myself for becoming an egocentric being or sorry for the lack of trust in my relationships?

I feel as though I'm out of words to describe my situation right now ..
I'm experiencing all I've been avoiding in years and what's weird(er)? the fact that I'm enjoying every minute through it..

I Seriously think there's something wrong with me because I just got dumped  a minute ago and I'm smiling.

April.
direct. short. I can totally see myself as April.

Definietly strangers! they won't judge you and even if they did it won't matter much.

At some point during your life you come to realize that some things are better left unsaid (it's part of the growing up process). You just don't go out there and spill your heart out to strangers it's not fair to yourself and you gonna regret it later.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is one good film. No really this is no joke
 Everyone seems to not get the main concept of having a nagging parents by your side. However, this movie makes it clear that it is Okay if you do because it's your parents job to make sure you realize how shitty job you're doing in your life you know what I mean? Next time when mom wants to make me feel bad about myself she needs to not argue against whatever I say it'll make me feel guilty about it. Yeah mom that's it. I just never told you * taking mental note for future kids*

You can learn a lot from children books. And Willy Wonka is great.

god Mike is so hot
I'm officially stalking Mike now

"When you have a dream, you've got to grab it and never let go."
Carol Burnett

That quote is about to save my life. Thank god for Quote of the Day

hi
I know it's been a while since I wrote decent long enough entry, I bet you're sick of these one-liners just like myself here. So um .. imma write something meaningful today. (Hopefully)
Lately I've been so mad with everyone including myself and I like to apologize for the lack of good behavior, I've been through some shitty situations they were the main reason why I'm acting such bitch to you guys I'm not over them yet but on my way to and stuff.
I'm sorry again.

Ironically most of them doesn't even know I own livejournal so they'll miss the apology but you know what comes from heart reaches to others and that kinda crap right? It might work. (I just wanted to get it off my chest really)

Also I realized something today the reason why i'm so hostile to everyone is because of the fact that I know I could simply get away with it.

It's funny how
the earth never
opens up and
swallows you
when you want
it to.